“Small things often” is the mantra that happy and healthy couples abide by. They realize that it isn’t the big vacation, the big ring, or the surprise party that maintains a happy and healthy relationship.
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“Being guilted” is a different thing with the same emotional and physical responses. It’s more akin to shame.
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“But, I don’t want them to feel guilty” This is a phrase I hear over and over again in my office after someone has been deeply hurt or impacted by their partner’s behavior. There is deep pain associated with allowing someone to feel guilt or remorse about hurtful treatment of us.
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“There are two types of intimate partner violence: characterological and situational,” Earnshaw explains. “When a therapist finds that characterological violence has been present, then therapy is not indicated.
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To have a healthy relationship you have to understand how your childhood is still living within you and being worked out in your adulthood. Being mindful of your patterns and wounds will help you to be more successful in navigating the challenges of life together.
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I think, quite possibly, Beyoncé wrote “Crazy in Love” to express the state of limerance. Ever heard of it?
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Part 2 of the previous post. Let’s talk about overcoming the fighting pitfalls below...
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My colleague, Ariel Stern, shared this with me awhile ago: Some fights help couples grow and some fights cause irrevocable damage. It’s not the fight that is the problem, it’s how the fight happens.
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Have you ever heard of triangles? Murray Bowen, a pioneer in family therapy, observed triangles in families. A 2 person relationship is the basic unit of any emotional system.
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You might physically be around each other more frequently after the arrival of your little one, but finding ways to connect can be challenging. You’re keeping a little human alive and staying in tune with their needs might take up all your bandwidth.
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Why does a baby change your sex life? The causes of this are varied:
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During their research, John and Julie Gottman found that 1/3 of couples report marital satisfaction following the birth of their child. These couples do certain things to maintain positive feelings towards each other.
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Are marriages ruined by having children? Different studies by husband and wife teams, The Cowan’s and The Gottmans, show decreases in marital satisfaction after the birth of a child for about 2/3 of couples.
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In Dr. Helen Fisher’s research on broken hearts, she found that once a partner recognizes that they are “never, ever getting back together” they might enter the “abandonment rage stage”.
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When a relationship that we aren’t ready to leave ends, it’s a common response to initially “protest” this loss. According the Helen Fisher, there are three phases that are common following a break-up.
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When you get dumped it really is painful. This article focuses on a common first response to having your heartbroken: the protest response.
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I want to talk about the “mental load” today. This post might make some people feel uncomfortable but it’s really important for individual and relational health.
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Attachment styles are not set in stone. They change over the course of our lives. They are first impacted by childhood, but continue to be molded by further experiences of relationships, life, and emotional and mental health.
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