Research has found that kids with similar IQ but higher EQ (“Emotional Quotient”) tend to perform much better as adults.
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Many people are aware of the tired old stereotype about men that claim, “Real men are expected to ignore their emotions or pretend that they don’t exist.” Throughout my life, my professional life, in particular, I have noticed that it isn’t socially acceptable for some men to feel anything other than anger. Many are conditioned to simply feel nothing at all.
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Learning to listen is a skill. It’s different than “hearing”. Usually, when we are in conflict with another person we are listening to respond instead of listening to understand.
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Asserting yourself means expressing yourself in a way that expresses your confidence, power, and earning respect. It’s expressing your opinions, needs, and feelings without hurting or ignoring the opinions, feelings, or needs of others.
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Family therapy helps families reduce stress and conflict within their relationships in order to improve systems of interaction and connection.
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“I’m sorry” is not an apology. Stick with me for a minute.We are taught as children to say sorry to people when we hurt them. Our elders always tell us “Say you’re sorry” and we say “I’m sorry” and drop it.
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Did you ever notice that your poor communication habits come from a pain point? Or, at least, a fear of pain.I notice this in my own communication issues - for one, avoidance.
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If your trust has been broken here is what you need: The one that broke the trust needs to listen. Again and again. To show empathy. To say you understand, full heartedly, the impact of your actions.
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"Ghosting" is when someone you're dating cut off the relationship by cutting off all communication without any explanation. This post isn't geared towards being ignored after a first or second date.
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Conflict is bound to happen in your relationships - if it doesn’t then you’re a unicorn and I’d love to hear from you. The way that you “kiss and makeup” afterwards determines whether the conflict deepens your connection and intimacy or creates resentment and unhealed wounds.
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“Being guilted” is a different thing with the same emotional and physical responses. It’s more akin to shame.
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“There are two types of intimate partner violence: characterological and situational,” Earnshaw explains. “When a therapist finds that characterological violence has been present, then therapy is not indicated.
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Part 2 of the previous post. Let’s talk about overcoming the fighting pitfalls below...
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My colleague, Ariel Stern, shared this with me awhile ago: Some fights help couples grow and some fights cause irrevocable damage. It’s not the fight that is the problem, it’s how the fight happens.
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Have you ever heard of triangles? Murray Bowen, a pioneer in family therapy, observed triangles in families. A 2 person relationship is the basic unit of any emotional system.
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This attachment group is the 2nd largest with 20% of the population experiencing it. When you relate with others and are impacted by this attachment style you might find yourself being viewed as “needy”.
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Attachment styles are developed in childhood in response to how your caregivers related to you. Then, in your adult romantic relationships you relate with your partner’s through the style that you developed.
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I totally get where this advice comes from. Anyone who gives it means well. However, science shows it is misguided. If you or your partner is in a late night argument and one of you wants to sleep then the best thing to do is respect this.
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