Parenting is a challenging job; the transition to becoming a parent means lots of changes which brings with it lots of stress. The couple will have to learn how to create a new identity. Everything in your family life changes, including roles within the couple, daily activities, expression of intimacy and financial difficulties.
Read MoreValidation is telling someone that you believe that what they say is true for them. Validation isn't needed to CREATE legitimacy, because the legitimacy os already there.
Read MoreResearch has shown that people are motivated by 2 things:
Threat
Nurturing
While ALL couples will be motivated by both of theses factors, being motivated only by threats is not healthy for your relationship.
Read MoreSetting boundaries early in your relationships sets the stage for a partner that knows how to be successful for you. No one knows what you want or need unless you say it.
Read MoreConflict is bound to happen in your relationships - if it doesn’t then you’re a unicorn and I’d love to hear from you. The way that you “kiss and makeup” afterwards determines whether the conflict deepens your connection and intimacy or creates resentment and unhealed wounds.
Read More“Small things often” is the mantra that happy and healthy couples abide by. They realize that it isn’t the big vacation, the big ring, or the surprise party that maintains a happy and healthy relationship.
Read MoreTo have a healthy relationship you have to understand how your childhood is still living within you and being worked out in your adulthood. Being mindful of your patterns and wounds will help you to be more successful in navigating the challenges of life together.
Read MorePart 2 of the previous post. Let’s talk about overcoming the fighting pitfalls below...
Read MoreMy colleague, Ariel Stern, shared this with me awhile ago: Some fights help couples grow and some fights cause irrevocable damage. It’s not the fight that is the problem, it’s how the fight happens.
Read MoreI want to talk about the “mental load” today. This post might make some people feel uncomfortable but it’s really important for individual and relational health.
Read MoreAttachment styles are not set in stone. They change over the course of our lives. They are first impacted by childhood, but continue to be molded by further experiences of relationships, life, and emotional and mental health.
Read MoreAvoidant attachment is the result of caregivers rejecting or ignoring a child’s emotional needs. Consistently telling a child not to feel or that what they are feeling is “bad” or ignoring them when they’re hurt or upset will result in a child that gives up on connecting.
Read MoreThis attachment group is the 2nd largest with 20% of the population experiencing it. When you relate with others and are impacted by this attachment style you might find yourself being viewed as “needy”.
Read MoreSecure attachment is an adult attachment style that shows up in romantic and other close relationships. Secure attachment is usually developed in childhood. Securely attached children find that their parents are there when they need them but also allow for independence and space.
Read MoreAttachment styles are developed in childhood in response to how your caregivers related to you. Then, in your adult romantic relationships you relate with your partner’s through the style that you developed.
Read MoreAll of these parts matter. When you enter a relationship you are still a “you” and your partner is still a “them”. There will be pieces of you that stay private and quiet. There will be parts you don’t share - maybe aware and maybe not.
Read MoreThings will get better when...... we get married... have kids... make more money... move... and any other happening in the future. The truth is if things are rough now then making a major life transition will most likely not improve it.
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