Moving in Together: A Beginners Guide
Emma Carpenter Marriage Therapist
Emma is a therapist practicing in Philadelphia with her Master's in Counseling Pyschology. Emma is passionate about working with couples and individuals to help them have thriving relationships.
Moving in Together: A Beginners Guide
Emma Carpenter Philadelphia Therapy
Moving in can be an exciting step forward in a couple’s relationship. You’ve spent so much time around each other, it makes financial sense, and it feels like the right time. You can’t wait to be around one another every day, to wake up to your partner’s face every morning. You’re making a statement about your commitment to each other and the relationship. Then you start to worry, whether it’s before you move in or after. What if you don’t like being around your partner all the time? What if they don’t like being around you? Why can’t they be as clean as you are? Do they mind if you stay up late playing video games in the bedroom? All the things you thought you didn’t mind suddenly feel like the most annoying things in the world. Now what? First things first, remember that you love each other and moved in together for a reason. Transitions can be hard for even the most seemingly perfect couples, so don’t panic. There are some easy things you can do to ease this transition.
Talk about it! Whether you’ve moved in together already or you’re about to do so, talk to your partner about what you’re feeling. Let them know what your worries are. If your partner comes to you with fears of living together, listen with kindness and openness. After all, they’re coming to you for reassurance and safety. This is completely normal and by communicating these thoughts to your partner you’re opening the door to a conversation that can lead to happiness.
House Rules and Non-Negotiables: Just like when you moved in with past roommates, it can be helpful to discuss house rules or expectations. House rules are smaller, every day things you anticipate/currently argue about that you want to find a middle ground for. Some examples are:
Chores will be split 50/50
Don’t leave dirty dishes in the sink
No electronics on in the bedroom after 10pm
Non-Negotiables are bigger ticket items that are more tied to your core values such as:
No smoking or doing drugs in the home
Holidays need to be split evenly between families
Every two weeks we will have a date night out
Keep the lines of communication open and remember that you’re in a new period of adjustment. Keep your love and friendship at the forefront of your conversations and let them guide you towards compromise.
To schedule a free 15 minute consultation with Emma call 267-838-0066 or email info@abetterlifetherapy.com