Gottman Method Therapy
What is The Gottman Method?
Gottman Method Couples Therapy combines Dr. John Gottman’s 35 years of research on couples’ relationships with Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman’s more than 30 years of clinical practice. Through research-based interventions and exercises, Gottman therapy helps couples break through barriers to achieve greater understanding, connection and intimacy in their relationships.
This method is a structured, goal-oriented, and scientifically based.
Intervention strategies are based upon empirical data from Dr. Gottman’s three decades of research with more than 3,000 couples. This research shows us what actually works to help couples achieve a long-term healthy relationship. Gottman Method Couples Therapy was developed out of this research to help you and your spouse or partner:
Increase respect, affection, and closeness
Break through and resolve conflict when you feel stuck
Generate greater understanding between you and your partner
Keep conflict discussions calm
Maintain improvements in your relationship
How do you utilize Gottman Method in your office?
Our office offers both “traditional” weekly counseling sessions as well as intensive couples therapy. Read more on what both options entail.
Weekly counseling
In weekly Gottman Method Therapy sessions, your therapist will meet with you for 50-90 minute sessions depending on your specific needs and plan. During the first four sessions, the therapist will assess your relationship by taking a holistic view of what is happening for you as individuals and within the partnership.
The assessment phase tends to look like:
1st Meeting - Meet as a group. During this meeting you explore your relationship at it’s current moment, the history of the relationship, things you’ve tried before to make the relationship better, and you start to look at what your goals are as a team
2nd + 3rd Meeting - The second and third session tend to be done individually. Each partner gets a turn to meet with the therapist 1:1 so that the therapist can get to know more about you, your history, and your perspective on the relationship.
4th Meeting - During this meeting your therapist will provide you with their assessment of what is happening in your relationship, what they believe needs to happen for it to improve, and a plan for moving forward.
The subsequent meetings will include teaching you and your partner how to utilize research proven Gottman Method tools and techniques to have better conversations, overcome past hurts, and move forward in a different way together.
Intensive Couples Therapy
Intensive therapy is a method that many Gottman Method therapists utilize because of it’s high level of effectiveness, especially for couples with very “stuck” issues. In intensive couples therapy, the couple meets with the therapy for 2-3 days for about 6 hours each day.
The benefits of utilizing intensive therapy is that it avoids the “stop and start” experience of weekly therapy and it also allows a couple to have enough time to truly work through difficult issues with the help of another person.
Often in weekly therapy, there is not enough time for 2 people to be able to truly express themselves while also learning new skills and finishing a conversation in a productive way. People often feel as if they are left on a “cliffhanger” waiting for the next session.
During intensive sessions your therapist also often gets an opportunity to see your relationship for what it is outside of the office. This means that because you are together for such a long period of time you are less likely to inhibit yourselves and put on a “good face”. This helps your therapist work through things in the way you need to work through them at home too.
Intensive couples therapy is also good for busy couples. We often see dual income couples, those who have to travel for work, or busy parents in our office for intensive sessions because they recognize that a weekly consistent therapy schedule isn’t going to work for them. It is easier for them to set aside a weekend to really work through issues.
What does an intensive weekend entail?
While every weekend will look different because your therapist will be tailoring it for you, it tends to follow a sequence like the one below:
Prior to meeting: You will each fill out the Gottman Assessment. This is a highly research backed assessment that gives your therapist information about your relationship before you even meet. This helps them begin to understand how you are both feeling and what is going on.
Day 1:
1-2 hours meeting as a group to explore your relationship holistically, including the current problem, your history together, and your goals for the future.
2 hours meeting with the therapist as individuals. This allows each person to give more insight into who they are as a person, what their life experiences have been, what they desire and how they perceive the relationship’s issues.
2 hours of feedback and goal setting.
The day also has as many breaks as needed for eating, bathroom, and just taking some space if needed.
Day 2:
Day 2 is specifically tailored to the couple and will target the specific issues uncovered the day before. During this time, couples will work on learning new skills, overcoming difficult issues, and creating a plan for their future.
Day 3: Optional
Some couples decide to include a third day in their intensive as a maintenance session. This day is scheduled 2-4 weeks after your intensive weekend and is utilized to explore what did and did not work and to begin to make adjustments to the plan.
How can people spend that long of a day in therapy?
In short, it goes by incredibly quickly. Gottman Method therapy is very dynamic so people do not get “bored”. At the end of the first day almost everyone says “wow, I cannot believe the day is over already”.
Schedule a weekend intensive - click here
Gottman Method Couples Therapists at A Better Life Therapy
Our practice trains all of our therapists to look through the lens of Gottman Method therapy when working with couples. The therapists listed below have also completed Gottman Method Couples Therapy training at different levels with The Gottman Institute. You can click on their link to learn more about them.
Center City office:
Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT, Certified Gottman Method Therapist - Click here to read more
Eman Almusawi, LMFT - Level 1-3 - Click here to read more
Folashade Adekunle, M.A., M.Ed. - Level 1-2 - Click here to read more
Nora Nova, M.Ed - Level 1 - Click here to read more
Main Line/ Ardmore Office:
Ariel Stern, LPC, Certified Gottman Method Therapist - Click here to read more
Catherine Herling, LMFT - Level 1-2 - Click here to read more
Jenny Midence-Blaszczyk, MS - Level 1-2 - Click here to read more
Telehealth:
Emma Carpenter, MA, NCC - Level 1-3 - Click here to read more
Deirdre Cosgrove, LMFT - Level 1 -2 - Click here to read more
Mary Fung-a-Fat, M.Ed - Level 1 - Click here to read more
You can also schedule any time by emailing info@abetterlifetherapy.com or by utilizing our online scheduling system.