Technology and How to Set Boundaries with Gifts for Children
Article by: Catherine Herling, MFT
As the holidays draw near, many parents are being asked to buy items that they are unsure of, such as video games and cell phones. It’s perfectly fine to feel uncertain and concerned about extending so much freedom to your child, especially when you feel pressured to follow the trend of others around you so your kids can fit in with their peers. You’re probably also thinking that the shorter and cooler days during quarantine will require alternative methods of connecting with friends and family. While there is no definitive answer as to whether or not you should buy specific items for kids, here are some questions to ask yourself before you make your purchases:
Is internet access required for this item? Often times, video games have optional online options that aren’t required to actually play the game (ie Minecraft). If you are not comfortable giving your children access to the internet, you do have the option of not connecting the device to the internet for games that they might enjoy! There are also plenty of games you can play as a family (ie Mario Party and Human Fall Flat) so you can connect with your kids over a shared interest.
Are there “hidden fees” for an item? While a game or device can appear reasonably priced during a sale, there can be unexpected fees that add up over time and lead to conflict between you and your kids. All major consoles have annual membership fees that impact the features you have access to. There are also games that have micro transactions (in-game purchases) that can really add up and lead to conflict with your child when you don’t buy an item in the game that they want.
Are there parental controls and, if so, how easy is it to set up? Most phones, tablets, and video game consoles nowadays have parental control options that allow you to control what a child can access and when/ how long they can use it. However, setting these controls are not a guarantee that your kids aren’t going to access something you don’t want them to while they’re unsupervised. Changing the password regularly and making it difficult for your kids to guess can reduce the likelihood of them being able to bypass your parental controls.
Whether or not you choose to purchase an electronic or accessory is a decision that is ultimately up to you as a parent. Video games can help your child explore their creative side while also allowing them to connect with friends in a COVID-19 world. Remind yourself that personal electronics are privileges, not rights! You have the option of temporarily taking the electronics away if you don’t feel comfortable anymore. These are unprecedented times as a parent and it’s okay to be unsure about making these types of decisions; you are not alone in this feeling.
Bala Cynwyd Therapist
Catherine Herling, is a master's level marriage and family therapist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She serves clients online through our simple to use HIPAA compliant platform and in person at our comfortable Main Line, PA office. Catherine offers individual and couples therapy. She loves to support adolescents and their families, especially when a family member has been diagnosed with a long-term condition, such as cancer, Autism Spectrum Disorder, or PTSD . To schedule an appointment click here.