Feeling Like a Fraud
Feeling Like A Fraud: Dealing with Imposter Syndrome
"I feel like I'm terrible at my job. Why did they hire me?"
"I'm unhappy but I don't think things can change."
"I can't believe they would want to date me."
"I'm just not good enough."
Have you ever struggled with thoughts like these? I've heard many of my clients express such doubts in my office. I've heard the same hushed confessions from friends and even had similar thoughts myself! Even therapists aren't immune to anxiety! 😊
Feelings of self-doubt, a drive toward perfectionism, and difficulty acknowledging one's abilities are all hallmarks of imposter syndrome, a phenomenon first described by Drs. Imes and Clance in the 1970s. Basically, imposter syndrome is the creeping sensation that you are a fraud. You live with anxiety that you will be found out and your 'shortcomings' will be exposed. You think that any success is attributed to chance rather than your efforts.Often those experiencing imposter syndrome are embarrassed to voice their fears and instead believe they are the only ones who feel this way. Everyone else appears more confident and capable. Social media, providing never-ending opportunity for comparison, can contribute to feelings of anxiety and worthlessness.I have seen how imposter syndrome, and the anxiety and depression that accompanies it, stand as a barrier to achieving goals and having the ability to enjoy those accomplishments. Imposter syndrome can cause you to sabotage relationships, turn down career opportunities and hold yourself back from taking risks.
How can therapy help you to overcome these destructive feelings?
1. Often, these feelings are rooted in experiences and messages we receive in childhood. Together, we can explore these to help you let go of old and unhelpful patterns of thinking.
2. Therapy should provide a non-judgemental space to voice your inner fears. Talking with another person who understands, accepts and cares provides a healing experience.
3. You can learn to recognize the patterns of critical "self talk," and learn new tools for creating more positive ways of thinking to help you achieve your goals, and take pride in your accomplishments.
Does this post speak to you? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Feel free to leave a comment 😊
Image credit: Natalya Lobanova c/o BuzzFeed
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Deirdre Cosgrove, Philadelphia couples therapist
Deirdre Cosgrove, LMFT is a licensed therapist practicing in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Deirdre supports individuals in developing deeper understanding of themselves leading to higher levels of confidence and self esteem.
To schedule a consult with Deirdre you can email her at info@abetterlifetherapy.com or schedule online.