Tis the Season to be Kinder to Yourself

Managing the Holiday Blues

It may not be the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. In fact, it is quite common for difficult feelings to peak during this season. A study conducted by the American Psychological Association found that 38% of people reported feeling an increase in stress associated with financial pressure, family gatherings and increased obligations around the holidays. Additionally, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 64% of people with preexisting mental illnesses expressed that their conditions were exacerbated during this time of year.

If you suspect that you have a case of the holiday blues, let's first identify what this might look like. These symptoms can manifest in many ways, some of which include:

Loneliness
Sadness
Anxiety
Depression
Irritability
Decreased motivation

Here are things you can do to help manage these feelings:

Establishing boundaries for yourself.
- The holidays bring with it an increased amount of stressors, such as social obligations, financial pressures, or exposure to uncomfortable family dynamics. It’s helpful to remind yourself that you don’t have to say ‘yes’ to everything. Identifying triggers and establishing boundaries around situations that may have a negative impact on you, allows yourself to prioritize your wellbeing. You have the power to choose how you want to interact with these situations in ways that don’t necessarily have to fit into the holiday expectations.
Be intentional about self-care.
- It can be easy to overlook basic self-care needs amidst the seasonal festivities. Getting enough sleep, moving your body regularly, maintaining a healthy diet, engaging in restorative activities, and limiting alcohol use are ways we can be intentional about maintaining healthy physical habits that help reduce stress, improve your mood, and remain feeling grounded. Treating yourself is the ultimate gift that keeps giving!
Meet yourself where you are.
- The holidays can bring up feelings of loneliness, especially if you are coping with the loss of a special someone. It can feel very isolating when we compare ourselves to other people’s experiences with their family, friends or partners. If you are grieving in some way, it may be helpful to remember that your circumstances are different this year, and you are allowed to honor your feelings in ways that feel authentic to you. There is always room for new traditions!
Embrace your support systems.
- Whatever the holidays bring up for you, you don’t have to endure it alone. As human beings, we thrive on community and connection, so surrounding yourself with people that can lend a helping hand, or simply hold your hand when you most need it can be a powerful thing. Sometimes it does take a village!
Seek professional support.
- If your symptoms continue to worsen or exceed the holiday season, you might need to check in with your primary care provider or mental health professional for alternative options. They can provide you with more resources, knowledge, or the space to process deeper underlying thoughts and feelings.

Wherever you might find yourself this holiday season, please remember to give yourself some grace. The holidays can bring up a lot of mixed emotions for many people and it is perfectly understandable if you don’t feel jolly. But by acknowledging your feelings, honoring your needs, and leaning into your support systems, you can begin to rewrite your narrative this season.

by Mary Fung-a-Fat, M.Ed.

Mary Fung-A-Fat is a therapist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Mary offers services online through our HIPAA compliant platform. She supports individuals and couples as they learn to navigate the end of relationships. To schedule an appointment click here.

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