The Difference between Shame and Guilt

Article by Julie McGlynn, M.s.

The stories we tell ourselves seep into our subconscious and affect our self-esteem. It’s so important to be mindful of the way in which we speak to ourselves even if it’s just in our own head. Because most of us have an inner critic, it is especially important to understand the deference between shame and guilt.

Shame is thinking that we are inherently flawed because we’ve done something we feel badly about. If we internalize shame, we feel badly about our sense of self, our characteristics, and who we are as a person. Shame does not help us grow.

Guilt is knowing that we are an inherently good person who did something we feel badly about. If we feel guilt, we recognize that we messed up and need to potentially adjust our future behavior but we are trying our best and aren’t perfect and that’s ok. Guilt can be a helpful motivator if used in a healthy way.

Next time you feel your inner critic starting to whisper in your ear, ask yourself-

are you feeling like you’re an awful person or a person who did something awful? It’s important to use the healthiest language possible when we are talking to ourselves.

**By Julie McGlynn, M.S.**

Julie is a therapist at our Center City office and offers services in person and online through our HIPAA compliant platform. Julie is passionate about working with adults, adolescents, couples, and families who are seeking to overcome challenges with relationships, life transitions, self-esteem, anxiety, and grief. To read more click here.

A BETTER LIFE THERAPY

A Better Life Therapy was founded in 2013 with a passion for providing warm, compassionate services to individuals and families in Pennsylvania. Our team specializes in relationship health as well as individual mental health. Our team has expertise in areas like anxiety, grief, depression, pregnancy related issues, sexual issues, substance use and trauma.