Article by Morgan Healey, LPC

A common theme that clients express is a feeling of inadequacy when sticking to a routine or having discipline. The word discipline can be heavy- from what I have learned in my experience with client’s, discipline can be culturally defined as strict, unforgiving, and punishing. I work with clients to redefine what discipline means to them. In pursuit of cultivating self-motivation, I often start with engaging clients to explore answers to questions such as- “What does structure mean? What does routine mean? And what am I trying to accomplish?” I believe that building an effective routine is as personal to everyone as their unique fingerprint. Here are some things to keep in mind when building your individualized routine.

What are your values? To have meaningful routine, you need to know why that routine matters to you. If we are unclear on our values, we are directed by our impulses. If your routine conflicts with your values, you are likely not to stick to it.
Self-acceptance. Self-acceptance does not mean letting yourself off the hook whenever you give into an impulse rather than acting in service of a value. Self-acceptance says, “I know I am doing the best I can, and the best I can today looks like_____.” Self-acceptance can also be recognizing that what works for others may not be the best fit for you.
Acknowledging Limits: We are not robots- we are human beings. We live in a society which tends to promote hyper-productivity. So, when we inevitably fall short of constant productivity, we are subliminally conditioned to look inwards and say, “what’s wrong with me that I am unable to keep up?” It is important to recognize that we have limits, and those limits are unique to us and are constantly shifting throughout our lives.
Accept that you WILL fall out of your routine because you are human. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can move closer to your goals. Let’s face it-life happens. We get swamped with work, overwhelmed with family drama, get sick, or go on vacation. The reminder that rest is productive is rarely present. Falling out of our routine and getting back on is as important as maintaining a routine when life feels comfortable. Allowing yourself breaks, with the self-trust to know that you will get back to yourself when you are ready, is a skill in and of itself.

Having a routine that works for you is crucial to the “stickiness” of its benefit. Acknowledging our values and being realistic, self-compassionate, and persistent are all ways to mentally and physically help you stick to your goals.

Having discipline- consistently showing up for ourselves- is one of the highest forms of self-love and self-care. Discipline can be both assertive and compassionate and can leave room for healthy negotiation with oneself. Discussing routines in a therapeutic setting can be a rich area to explore. We all have a relationship to structure and discipline through our unique lived experience. Understanding what that relationship is can help someone move from an avoidant space to an empowered one.

by Morgan Healey, LPC

Morgan Healey, LPC is a therapist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Morgan offers services in person at our Ardmore location and online through our HIPAA compliant platform. She supports adult individuals, and couples as they navigate relationship issues & attachment, anxiety, depression, trauma and self-esteem. To schedule an appointment click here.

A BETTER LIFE THERAPY

A Better Life Therapy was founded in 2013 with a passion for providing warm, compassionate services to individuals and families in Pennsylvania. Our team specializes in relationship health as well as individual mental health. Our team has expertise in areas like anxiety, grief, depression, pregnancy related issues, sexual issues, substance use and trauma.