How To Support a Loved One Living with Chronic pain & Illness
By Jenna Rosenau, LCSW
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report that “six in ten adults in the US have a chronic disease and four in ten adults have two or more”. Individuals living with chronic illness and chronic pain are grappling with countless visits to different specialists, medication adjustments, ongoing pain and discomfort, depression and many other mental health related issues. As a partner, friend, parent, child, you may be wondering how to support these individuals. See below for how you can best support while also receiving support for yourself.
Tips for supporting a loved one with chronic illness and pain:
Listen: Oftentimes, these individuals just want to be heard. Not a solution, not a medicalized response; just simply heard.
Show interest: You can do this by educating yourself on their illness/pain/limitation. Attend a workshop, do some research and ask this person questions about their experiences.
Understand: While listening, you can show them that you accept how they are feeling. Saying things like, "I understand" or "I'm a safe space for you" shows them that you're supportive and dependable.
Avoid solutions/problem solving:While listening, your knee jerk reaction may be to quickly problem-solve. Saying things like, "Have you tried this?" Chances are, they have and it hasn't worked. Remember, you can always ask, "How can I best support you?"
Respect their needs: They may be struggling with fatigue, depression and many other physical and emotional symptoms. They may not be able to do certain activities like they used to.
Be patient:These individuals often struggle with letting their loved ones down. Or feeling like they need to "get better" quickly. Your support around this will help them remain patient with themselves.
Therapy for the support person:
The above tips are effective in supporting individuals struggling with chronic pain/illness. However, it’s also important to consider how to support the person offering the support. Caregiver burn-out is real and can happen at any given time. Getting support for yourself is just as important as giving it to someone else. Speaking with a therapist and/or joining a caregiver support group will help you process and grieve the loss that you may be experiencing.
Jenna Rosenau, LCSW
Jenna is a licensed therapist practicing in Pennsylvania. Jenna sees people virtually across the state of Pennsylvania and New Jersey. To read more about Jenna, click here.