Tips for Taking care of your Mental Health after Giving Birth
By Kristelle Mallah, LMFT, Perinatal/Postpartum Therapist
Becoming a mother brings lots of changes that in turn create a sense of pressure to adapt and readjust. The theme of grief is huge as the mother mourns the loss of freedom, normalcy, independence, pre-pregnancy body and previous roles.
I have included a couple of tips that can help mothers take care of their mental health after baby is born.
Mental Health Tips After Childbirth
Normalize the idea of duality of feelings. Mothers can feel happy, excited, thankful, and still allow space for grief to surface through acknowledging the losses and normalizing the feelings that come with grief including anger.
Practice self-compassion which includes:
Observe the feelings and name them without judgement
Normalize the feelings, ground the self in common humanity; saying something like “we all experience similar feelings, I am not alone”
Ask yourself what you can do to take care of yourself at this moment (go for a walk, ask for a hug, ask for help, take a deep breath...)
Practice Mindfulness to help identify all the automatic negative thoughts that are being triggered. Using the language of “I am noticing my mind telling me those thoughts….” helps create some distance between you and the thought where you become the observer of those thoughts hence gives you the choice to believe them or not.
Remember thoughts are just thoughts they are not facts and learning to unhook from them without judgment is crucial.
It is essential to learn ways to connect to the body by focusing on breathing. When feeling overwhelmed with feelings and thoughts, take a minute to acknowledge the feeling and the thought and bring your attention to your breath.
Inhaling while counting 1 to 5 and exhaling while counting 5 to 1
Parents need to work on creating space for more open conversations around their new reality. Conversations around chores, roles, intimacy, sex are important to help both create an agreement that acknowledge both of their needs and create a win-win situation. Parents need to communicate needs effectively without assuming that the other person knows.
Identify support systems including family members, friends, coworkers, professional providers. Building a village is crucial to support moms through navigating various psychosocial, psychological, and physiological changes. Once identified, reach out to them, ask for your needs and share with them some of your feelings and struggles.
Taking care of yourself where you are drinking, eating well, and trying to move your body when possible.
It is crucial to address sleep hygiene
Try to sleep whenever baby naps
Allocate family members for waking shifts
Identify some family or friends who can provide some childcare while you try to rest ad re-energize
Making a postpartum support plan
Meal planning, ask family members or friends to prepare and deliver meals
Allocate chores for family members or friends
If you are noticing any signs of postpartum anxiety or depression, if you feel symptoms are increasing, you do not have to suffer alone and in silence.
Seek a mental health professional to support you through this period.
Look for support groups to decrease isolation and shame.
Postpartum Support International - PSI is a great resource to have.
Having a baby is a major adjustment, so it makes sense if you are having a difficult time. If you believe you need more support for navigating new parenthood, our office would love to help. We serve clients in Pennsylvania, New York, Delaware, Maryland, California, and Utah.
Kristelle Mallah, LMFT specializes in supporting people after the birth of their children to navigate changes in mood, lifestyle, and relationship. Kristelle is licensed to offer therapy in Pennsylvania and New York. To read more about Kirstelle click here.