Coping with Divorce
By: Eman Almusawi, LMFT, Therapist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Divorce
Whatever the nature of your breakup, divorce can be one of the most stressful and challenging experiences you'll ever endure.
Let that sink in for a bit….a challenge.
When you go through a divorce, it impacts almost every aspect of your life. You are adjusting to not having a partner, splitting or losing finances, and maybe your housing situation will change. Having children means you are now responsible for co-parenting with your ex-partner. You may feel as if everything has turned upside down. While you're going through your divorce, you are
also dealing with the emotional and mental repercussions of your divorce. Even if the divorce was a long time coming, going through the divorce process and learning how to cope with the aftermath is difficult.
Coping with divorce is a difficult process. Here are three steps that will help you recover, learn and grow from your experience.
1. Give yourself time to heal:
It takes time and nurturing for emotional injuries to heal. You may feel exhausted, disoriented, sad, stressed and angry from your divorce. Even identifying what you are feeling on any given day may be difficult. Use this time wisely, which can be weeks, months, and sometimes years, whatever seems right to you. You need time to explore your emotions and simply be with those
feelings.
This is time for you, not your ex-partner. Avoid contacting them and instead work on building up your personal strength.
2. Reflect and learn:
To cope with divorce, the next step is to reflect on what has happened.
After your healing process, you should engage the world that you once belonged to. It took you a while to heal, but now is the time to re-engage. This step is crucial for moving on and preventing depression. Whatever the fault of your ex-partner, there are probably things you could have done differently throughout the course of your marriage and possibly even during the divorce process.
The end of a relationship can reveal a lot of pent-up resentment. For some people, speaking to an expert, such as a therapist, may be helpful in exploring these issues.The key is to not focus on what your spouse did wrong, of course they played their own part in the divorce, but this is about you. You want to get on with your life, so you need to figure out what you did wrong and need to change.
Tip: Instead of focusing on specific mistakes, look for patterns and habits in the way you act and react to things. Making a list can be extremely helpful.
3. Grow and move on
Divorce can easily consume your life. You can suffer through signs of depression, like not sleeping, sleeping all day, not eating, overeating, and not caring about what you look like. You can also go through clinical depression, which can be diagnosed by a professional.
Trying to adjust to a new schedule or custody arrangement may mean that you skip yoga class or not having time for lunch. Taking care of oneself is essential for taking care of others. Self-care is critical regardless of whether you have children or not, especially in the aftermath of a divorce.
You should carve out time for your personal and emotional needs, no matter how difficult it seems. Spend time in meditation, take a bath, or walk through a lovely park. Self-care doesn’t have to be expensive but ignoring it can cost you a lot.
About the Author
Eman Almusawi, LMFT is a therapist in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Eman helps couples & individuals overcome relational challenges. If you are considering divorce or are currently working through a divorce, Eman can help you to navigate the uncertainties.
To set up an appointment for therapy for divorce, schedule online or email info@abetterlifetherapy.com