8 Questions You Can Ask Other Than "How Are You Doing?"

By: Elizabeth Eanrshaw, LMFT, CGT

How are you doing?

We hear this question so frequently. We ask our partner, our children, our friends, colleagues, and even the barista at our favorite coffee shop. We ask if so much and that means we answer it so much, too. Because of this, our responses are often rote and basic and generally it doesn't turn into much of a conversation.

However, asking how people are doing is important. It's a way to learn more about their inner world. To connect.

My challenge to you today is to ask people how they are doing AND to mean it. Be curious.

Here are a few questions you can ask instead of the generic "how are you doing?" that might yield more information and more connection:

1. What was the best part of your day?

2. Did anything surprise you today?

3. Tell me about something funny that happened today.

4. What is on your mind?

5. Tell me about what your commute was like.

6. Did anyone upset you today?

7. Who made you feel loved?

8. How have you been feeling lately?

These questions will yield more understanding of the other person's inner world. They help to build true connection.

West Chester an Philadelphia Therapist

Elizabeth is a Philadelphia therapist supporting couples and individuals struggling with unhealthy relationships, setting boundaries, infidelity and life stressors. Elizabeth is the Director of A Better Life Therapy where you can find counseling support for mental health and relationship issues in Pennsylvania.