Article by Kenna Mellinger, MFT

Are you feeling confused or stuck in your current relationship? Do you find yourself overwhelmed by the uncertainty of your feelings or unsure about whether you’re truly happy with your partner?

These feelings are valid, and you are not alone. Relationships are complex, and there are many reasons why you might feel conflicted, including unresolved struggles, traumatic backgrounds, life stressors, sexual dissatisfaction, or misaligned morals and values. If you’re questioning the commitment you’ve made to your relationship, it may be time to explore those feelings further through discernment therapy.

I will offer a quick overview on what discernment therapy is and how it could help you and your partner.

What is Discernment Therapy?

Discernment therapy is a structured process designed to help couples who are considering divorce or separation gain clarity and confidence in their decision-making. Typically lasting between 1 to 5 sessions, this form of therapy is particularly helpful for couples with “mixed agendas”—where one partner is leaning toward ending the relationship while the other wants to work on it.

How Does It Work?

Discernment therapy often involves both joint sessions and one-on-one conversations with each partner to ensure their perspectives and feelings are fully explored.

The Partner Leaning Out:

The focus is on understanding their reasons for wanting to leave and exploring whether those issues are resolvable.

The Partner Leaning In:

The focus is on improving their listening and understanding skills.

Pathways Forward

At the end of the discernment therapy process, couples generally decide on one of three pathways:

1. Maintain the Status Quo:

Put any major decisions on hold

2. Pursue Divorce or Separation:

Make an informed decision to end the relationship, possibly with additional support from a professional.

3. Commit to Couples Therapy:

Agree to a focused effort on rebuilding the relationship through six months of couples therapy, during which divorce is taken off the table as an option.

The Benefits of Discernment Therapy

Discernment therapy helps provide clarity and space for important conversations. Through this process, couples can:

● Process unresolved resentments and sadness

● Discuss current struggles openly and honestly

● Strengthen communication skills

● Express feelings, needs, and concerns in a safe environment

If you’re feeling stuck, discernment therapy helps you make an informed decision about your future. It’s a valuable tool for navigating one of life’s most challenging decisions. If you’re ready to explore discernment therapy and take the next steps in your relationship, reach out to a qualified therapist who specializes in this process.

By Kenna Mellinger, MFT

Kenna Mellinger, MFT is a therapist in our New Hope and Easton, PA Offices. Kenna offers services in person and online through our HIPAA compliant platform. She supports individuals, couples, and families as they navigate their relationships, family dynamics, infidelity, trauma, and life transitions. To schedule an appointment click here.

A BETTER LIFE THERAPY

A Better Life Therapy was founded in 2013 with a passion for providing warm, compassionate services to individuals and families in Pennsylvania. Our team specializes in relationship health as well as individual mental health. Our team has expertise in areas like anxiety, grief, depression, pregnancy related issues, sexual issues, substance use and trauma.

We currently have in person offices in: