Should My Child Meet with a Therapist?
Questions to guide parents for navigating child therapy
By Jenny Hoving, LPC
When your child is having a hard time, it can be difficult to determine when to seek help. Consider the following questions when making a choice that feels right for you and your family.
Please note I’ll use the word “behavior” as a broad term to describe what you’re noticing. This might include things like mood changes, tantrums, avoidance, impulsivity, and difficulty with focus and attention.
Questions to help you decide
Before we dive in, what’s your specific concern?
Clarify the behavior that you’re noticing. Do you notice any patterns of what happens before the behavior occurs? Does it happen in some contexts, but not others?
When did it start?
Sometimes new behaviors show up, or subtle behaviors increase, during times of transition or stress. You may see this fade in days or weeks. If you’ve been noticing a behavior for more than a month or two, it’s less likely to fade away on its own.
How often does it happen?
Is this an unusual occurrence, or something that happens on a weekly or daily basis? All children have problematic behaviors sometimes, but if you’re finding this to be a typical pattern, it’s more likely that your child needs some help to make changes.
Is it developmentally appropriate?
If you’re not sure, check out milestone guidelines, or even better, talk to a teacher or pediatrician to get some feedback.
To what degree does it impact your child’s life or the way your family functions?
If you believe the behavior prevents your child from meaningfully engaging in parts of their life such as learning or building relationships, it’s important to seek outside help.
It’s so understandable that as a parent, you might feel increasingly frustrated or resentful when the behavior shows up. That’s a great internal indication that it’s time to get support.
What if you’re really not sure?
Some parents worry that if they introduce their child to therapy, their child won’t be willing to engage, or their child will perceive this as a signal that something is wrong with them. If you’re concerned, consider making an appointment for a parent/caregiver session with a potential therapist yourself! This can be a helpful space to express your concerns and get some clarifying feedback. It can also give you a sense of your role in the therapeutic process should you choose to continue.
About the Author:
Jenny Hoving, LPC is a therapist practicing in Pennsylvania. Jenny sees clients virtually across the state. As a therapist, Jenny has extensive experience working with adolescents and young adults, particularly regarding anxiety issues and specializing in Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). To learn more about Jenny or to schedule with her, click here.
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