It's Okay to Be: Your Feelings are Normal
It's Normal to Feel how you are Feeling right now.
By: Elizabeth Earnshaw
A lot of things are not normal right now.
But your feelings are.
It is normal to feel sad right now. For the pain of the world, the pain of your family, the pain of yourself. It is normal to feel sad. It is normal to see the joy. To notice new things about the way your children move and play. To be laughing. To be smiling. To be finding new ways to have fun. It is okay to feel joy.
It is normal to feel grief. To feel the weight of your losses. The loss of a job. The loss of an experience. The loss of your freedom. The loss of a person that you love very much. The collective losses of the world. It is normal to feel grief.
It is normal to feel energized and have a lot to give right now. To call your friends, to host fundraisers, to create homemade masks for the medical community. To reorganize your cabinets and learn a new language and sign up for free art classes online. It is normal to feel energized.
It is normal to feel exhausted and have little capacity to do much more than basic self care. It's ok to turn down Zoom meetups, to get cozy on the couch and watch some Netflix instead of doing a free workout video, to struggle to focus on your work the way you used to. It is normal to feel exhausted.
It is normal to be relieved that you no longer have to rush the kids to daycare or take the long commute, to have more time with your family. It is normal to be relieved.
It's normal to feel angry right now. To be angry that your life has changed. To be angry with the decisions that are being made on your behalf that don't feel like they benefit you. To be angry with the way others are reacting. It is normal to be angry.
It is normal to feel at peace by listening to the sounds of nature returning to your neighborhood, by sitting in quiet and peace and solitude. It's okay to lean into the loss of control. It is normal.
It's normal to feel resentful of the people working from home or the people going to work. Of the friends spending more time with their kids or the friends that don't have to spend time with kids at all. It is normal.
It is normal to feel awe. To be in awe of how people are making the best of their situations. How they are showing up day after day. How they are showing support and love and grace. It is normal to be in awe.
It is normal to be disappointed. To be disappointed that your business was finally taking off and now it is not. To have to cancel your wedding or your vacation or your holiday get together. It is normal to be disappointed.
It is normal to feel afraid. To feel afraid about what is next. To have anticipatory anxiety. To be afraid for your health and the health of others. To be afraid of your financial security. To be afraid about your current living situation. It is normal to feel afraid.
It is normal to feel safe. To feel that you have prepared for this situation and you are safe in your home. To feel safe and connected with the people that you love. To trust that it will be okay. It is normal to feel safe.
It is normal to feel connected. To be loving the time at home with your family, to be enjoying your online happy hours, and video call meet ups. To seeing your neighbors walking their dogs and riding your bikes. It is normal to feel connected.
It is normal to feel alone. To wonder how long you can manage being in a house just you and the dog. To feel like it's just not enough physical human connection to rely on text messages and web based calls and passing neighbors on the street. It is normal to feel alone.
All of your feelings in response to this global crisis are normal.
They make sense.
They can be explained.
Rather than shaming yourself or others for the feelings you are having, let's work towards offering compassion, love, and grace during these challenging time.
Philadelphia Therapist, Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT
Elizabeth is a licensed therapist in Philadelphia, PA supporting individuals and couples as they build healthier and happier relationships.