Growing up with Food Allergies
By: Jesse Macbeth
My mother discovered I had severe, life-threatening food allergies when I was only two years old. She herself had been allergic to milk as a child, so I was already avoiding dairy. But one winter day, my mother took me on a playdate as her friend had a young son my age. It was freezing out, so my mother and her friend decided to set up an indoor activity for us to create a natural bird feeder, consisting of pinecones, bird seed and peanut butter. When we got to the part about rolling the pinecone in peanut butter, my mother noticed that my hand had turned into a balloon. Blood tests at the hospital revealed I had serious food allergies to all dairy, nuts, and eggs. This first allergic reaction began my life-long avoidance of specific foods; foods that most people can eat without a thought. I began to develop a deeper understanding of what this meant for me as I aged and found that my anxiety surrounding food was made worse by incidents involving uneducated restaurant workers and poorly labeled food products.
These negative experiences were incredibly frightening to me, even though I never ate any of the products I was allergic to. They triggered a negative psychological thought process as I began to develop a relationship with food. An overwhelming fear turned me into an incredibly picky eater. I became anxious around food and would only eat foods I had eaten previously which I knew were safe. Even though my mother checked the ingredients and/ or double checked with a waiter, any strange feeling inside my mouth or throat sent me into a tailspin as I began to anxiously expect anaphylactic shock after eating any food. As I’ve grown older, I have learned to take ownership of my allergies and manage my fears surrounding food in a more effective way. However, for families who are just learning about their child’s allergy the road ahead can seem depressingly daunting. An entirely new meal plan, more extensive meal preparation, and at times a thorough purge of a household’s pantry and refrigerator, can be the best start on the way to manage the chronic condition for a child with life-threatening food allergies. Educating the entire family about anaphylactic food allergies can lead the way to a more peaceful life at home.
As a child, I could never eat the cake at birthday parties, and even though I got my own special bowl of Jell-O, it never felt quite the same. I was terrified to leave the country as I was never sure I could properly communicate with those who did not speak English and I was stricken with anxiety any time I ate a meal in a foreign land. Even trying new restaurants in America can be a challenge. Some establishments butter their hamburger buns, some cook their fries in peanut oil. Even now, with additional training in most food establishments, workers at sandwich shops or stores like Chipotle will not clean their knives between cutting sandwiches or switch gloves or serving utensils after handling cheese or sour cream. I still experience some anxiety as I ask my servers to take these extra steps, but I push myself to do it because it can be the difference between life and death. Meeting a potential employer or a new colleague for breakfast or brunch can be hard as well, as there isn’t much on a breakfast menu that doesn’t involve eggs or dairy in some fashion.
It is common for people of all ages to shy away from new food after an incident involving a life- threatening allergy. Philadelphia 76ers player Zhaire Smith said he would do just that after his close call with peanuts put him in a coma last year. But there is hope for those of us with allergies, and we can learn to reframe our view of this chronic condition. Our life-long challenge is an obstacle anyone can be taught to manage effectively. The first step is to begin managing the anxiety as soon as the information is clear, no matter how young the child is. It is important to address these challenges immediately, so your child does not have lasting anxieties as they grow older.
A life-threatening condition does not need to get in the way of living a full and active life.
Properly managing a child’s chronic condition can begin with the understanding of specific anxieties and branch into the support of the child’s family and surrounding community.
Philadelphia therapist, Jesse Macbeth
Jesse Macbeth is a marriage and family therapist he has worked with couples, families, and individuals dealing with a range of issues. He looks to help his clients identify patterns in their relationships and behaviors and explore opportunities to replace maladaptive sequences with more positive alternatives.