How to Deal with COVID-19 Anxiety

By: Kristelle Mallah

It seems like the only topic of conversation, no matter where we go or what we read is COVID-19; that virus that has drastically changed the way we are living our lives.

Because let’s face it: There’s a lot of unknown about COVID-19, and it’s causing a lot of anxiety. The anxiety of not knowing how to properly deal with it. The anxiety of not knowing how long it takes to properly heal from the virus. The anxiety of not knowing 100% what’s causing it and if we’re doing everything to avoid it. The anxiety of not knowing if our elder loved ones’ immune systems will be able to handle it should they contract it. And more importantly, the anxiety of not knowing when this is going to end, and what’s going to happen to us and the world we live in. 

With this anxiety comes a sense of grief: Grieving over losing a job, losing a promotion, losing beloved ones, losing the ability to socialize and be around family and friends, losing sense of normalcy and consistency, losing the sense of safety and predictability and so on. And to add to this list, grieving over expected future death(s) and loss(es); people are sitting and expecting the worst to happen which can feel very hopeless and helpless.

All those feelings and experiences are normal and valid. However, they can be overwhelming and sometimes paralyzing.

How can we deal with everything that is going around us and be able to take care of ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally?

Recognize the commonness of your experiences

Be able to breathe through all this and recognize that we share similar feelings with the entire world. The entire world is experiencing this pandemic, which connects us, if anything, rather than isolate us.

Create space for your feelings to exist

Find time throughout your day to sit with your feelings and name them. Remember; feelings will not go away if we try to suppress them. Give them some space to exist gently without shame and judgment. Acknowledge their presence and try not to control them. 

Practice deep breathing

If you’re overwhelmed with all your feelings, it is very important to slow down, practice some emotional regulation through deep belly breathing:

Take a deep breath in through your nose, and let your belly push your hand out. Your chest should not move.

Breathe out through pursed lips as if you were whistling. Feel the hand on your belly go in, and use it to push all the air out.

Do this breathing 3 to 10 times. Take your time with each breath.

Differentiate between what you can control vs what you can't control 

Create a list of the things you can control vs the things you cannot. Part of this exercise is to accept the things you cannot control and work on the things you can. 

Sometimes, anxiety is a helpful tool, as it pushes us to do the things, we need to stay safe and healthy. Using anxiety as a natural force that drives us to problem solve and control things within our power is a great way to channel it into a more constructive energy. For instance, in this case, controlling things such as washing hands, practicing social distancing, reading news from reliable resources, and limiting time on the news.

Identifying and challenging distorted thoughts 

Our thoughts affect the way we feel; the first step is identifying our thoughts and understanding how they are affecting our feelings and behavior. For example, the thought that we are all going to die from COVID-19 will result in feelings of anxiety and helplessness. Most of our thoughts are distorted and if we let them run the show, we will be operating from autopilot without any control over the situation. We need to slow down and notice our thoughts and challenge the ones that are distorted. We are all going to die is a catastrophizing thought that could be replaced with a more realistic one as this is a virus that affects people differently; there is a big percentage of survivors. Another example: if things do not get better, we are all doomed. This is black and white thinking which creates lots of anxiety and pressure. Instead remind yourself that Earth has had multiple pandemics in the past and was able to survive them by creating treatments and vaccines.

Remember to be gentle with yourself 

Rather than putting yourself down for not being as productive as before, give yourself some compassion as you are passing through some challenging times. It is ok not to finish all house chores, it is ok if you need to be sad for some time, it is ok if you feel like taking a break.

In conclusion, stay focused on the present, let yourself experience your emotions and acknowledge your experiences, and do not forget to remind yourself that all of this is temporary. And while we are all in this temporary, benefit by creating positive interactions and moments with your beloved ones. Take that time to appreciate the duality of the social distancing - while you’re separated from everyone, you’ve gotten closer with your loved ones home.

Kristelle Mallah, LMFT- Therapist in Philadelphia

Kristelle Mallah, LMFT, loves helping couples find what brought them together in the first place. As an immigrant who left her country, Kristelle understands the complexities of cultural differences in families and communities. To schedule and read more click here.