At a Crossroads in Your Relationship? Three Signs That It's Time to Let Go
By: Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT
As a relationship therapist, I have met with many people who come to me because they are at a crossroad in their relationship. If you are here, you are not alone.
Relationships have a natural lifespan. They come and go, depending on various internal and external factors. Sometimes, they last for a very long time and at other times they last only briefly. In some instances, you'll be excited to see someone leave your life. Other times, it can be quite painful.
With that being said, it's important to know when a relationship has reached its natural end.
Here are some things you might want to consider if you are wondering whether or not your relationship can move forward:
1. Does frustration persist? Have you ever been in a relationship with someone where everything they do frustrates you? Do you often wonder if you're the cause of the ill feelings? In reality, it may just be because your relationship has run its course.
When someone's actions begin to frustrate you, it usually means that both of you aren't as aligned as you were before. Work on that alignment if the relationship is meaningful to you. If not, consider going your separate ways.
Are you patiently waiting for someone in your life to see eye to eye with you? It's possible that you're trying to force a relationship that's meant to dissolve naturally.
2. Trust is broken. When you put your utmost confidence and trust in someone, you expect them to hold up to their end of the deal. When that doesn’t happen, you feel hurt and brokenhearted. Sometimes, that's a sign that it's time to separate from that person.
Have you broken someone's trust? Your decision to apologize and ask for forgiveness is a good start. But if that doesn’t mend the hurt you caused, it may be a sign to move on from the relationship.
If someone has broken your trust, you have to decide whether or not you’re willing to move forward in trying to repair the relationship. And, you have to look at whether they are willing to do the work to regain your trust.
Your peace of mind is the most important factor. If you find you're unable to restore your peace of mind after trust is broken, perhaps the relationship is irretrievable.
3. Paths are changing. Sometimes you meet someone at a specific stage in your life and it feels like you’re meant to be. Then one day, your viewpoints and paths start to change.
Changing paths doesn’t always mean a separation is imminent. But if both of you are passionate about opposing views, it means that there will be difficulty steering in one direction. It may be time to let go.
Sometimes the person you’re with does something that causes you to see them in a different light. It's possible that they’ve changed. But it's also possible that you're only now just seeing their true colors.
Sometimes we change our direction - our goal, interests and values change. Not because someone has done anything wrong but because they have grown in different directions.
It's fine to realize that paths are changing for you and someone you're in a relationship with. Change is inevitable.
If you are wondering whether or not your relationship has run it's course, therapy can help. Our therapists are here to support you in couples therapy or individual therapy to decide whether or not your relationship can improve. If it can, we will give you the tools to do that. And, if you find that it is time to let go, we will support you in separating in a way that honors you both.
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Philadelphia and West Chester Therapist
Elizabeth is a Philadelphia therapist supporting couples and individuals struggling with unhealthy relationships, setting boundaries, infidelity and life stressors. Elizabeth is the Director of A Better Life Therapy where you can find counseling support for mental health and relationship issues in Pennsylvania.