by Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT
Why does a baby change your sex life?
The causes of this are varied:
- changes in hormones
- sleep deprivation
- unresolved anger with a partner
- depression (men and women)
- body image issues
Another interesting phenomenon is being “touched out”.
Being “touched out” is what happens to new moms (and maybe some dads out there) who recoil at being touched by their spouse and even their children.
When you’re “touched out” you feel really awful in your body.
A study published in Social, Psychological and Personality Science found that having sex at least 1x a week led to individual and relational happiness (researchers gathered data from 30,000 people!).
But, it can be hard after a new baby to get there. The key here is communication. Make sure you’re letting each other know what’s going on. Remind your partner that sex IS on your radar but that you’re not feeling it. And partners on the receiving end of a dry spell? It’s important for you to be honest about what you miss while also expressing empathy and understanding for your partner.
Helping your partner feel understood and loved is foreplay for when your relationship is ready to hit the sack again.
Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT is a licensed marriage therapist in Philadelphia. Elizabeth supports individuals and couples improve the relationship they have with themselves and others through better communication, self soothing, and a clear understanding of what a successful marriage looks like. She believes that any committed couples who is willing to do the work can walk away from therapy with more clarity and connection in their relationship.