Deirdre is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the State of Pennsylvania. Deirdre supports individuals and couples to develop healthier communication patterns and thrive in their relationships. She specializes in premarital counseling and also with couples that have busy professional lives. Deirdre has training in Prepare/Enrich Premarital Counseling and Gottman Method Couples Counseling. Read more about her here.
Wedding Planning Meltdown
What I failed to appreciate beforehand was just how much emotional energy goes into planning a wedding. Suddenly our conversation about table shapes and the pros and cons of a wedding cake, took on a life of their own. When my ideas were not initially met with enthusiastic support, I was absolutely crushed! I had been working on this plan for the wedding for so long, that I wasn’t expecting him to disagree with me. His valid questions and concerns came across as a criticism, which in the moment, was hard to take.
What did I learn from this argument?
1. You will argue about something stupid. Note this without judgment, and keep things moving!
2. Take time to process together. I’m so grateful we came back around and realized it was about more than tables. Now we can approach the rest of the planning with a greater understanding and sense of teamwork.
3. It’s about your marriage, not the wedding. Yes, I know you have heard this before. It’s so cliché, but so valid. Try to hold on to this when you are arguing about the stupid thing, and it will save you a lot of hardship!
4. Hold hands. Pause, breathe, and hold hands when you find your blood pressure boiling.
Happy planning! 👰🏻🤵❤️ 🤵🤵🏼 ❤️👰🏾👰