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    On Connection

    March 22, 2018
    Philadelphia Therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw

    By Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT

    Human beings are wired for connection. Again and again, research shows that the more quality relationships you have in your life, the more you are safeguarded against mental health issues like depression, stress, low self esteem,  and anxiety. Connection also improves physical health, positively impacting issues such as weight and blood pressure. This study in The Atlantic even suggests that the bigger your social group the bigger your brain size. Although research is always a wonderful validation , therapists don’t need it to know what they see everyday: healthy relationships with friends, family, coworkers, romantic partners, and even strangers is integral to emotional health.

    Every week, I support people in addressing many challenging issues in their lives. And, while they all present differently, I have never seen an issue that was not relational. Many issues spring forth from a relationship issue – marital strife, the death of a loved one, feeling excluded from your friends, porous boundaries with family members, butting heads with coworkers, being bullied.  Others can appear without a relational cause (symptoms of Bipolar Disorder, for one), yet they end up having a major relational impact. And it is usually the relationship impact that my clients are most concerned.

    And, while social connection is of the utmost importance, almost all of us struggle in one way or another at doing it in a beneficial and healthy way. At times we are too permissive or aggressive, we keep people out or we let too many people in, we are reactive rather than responsive. We struggle to speak and share or we take up too much space and overshare.. We forget to laugh at ourselves or we allow too many people to laugh at us. We don’t take responsibility for our part. Or, we take too much responsibility for our part. We forget to empathize and to listen or we live with way too much gray area without ever taking a stand. Phew. As you can see, connection is a delicate balancing act that is truly an art form. And while we can appreciate that other forms of art might only be perfected by some (I will never be a talented musician like my husband, and that is okay), this is the one that all people should have an opportunity to excel at.

    After supporting many people in developing the skills they need to connect with others, I have found that anyone can do it because it is in our wiring. We just need to make sure the wires are hooked up correctly.

    This series of posts will address the ways in which we can better connect with others by providing direct suggestions as to how to create balance in the many different areas of connection and by providing suggestions for further reading. I will discuss the importance of vulnerability, mindfulness, responsiveness, empathy, clarity, laughing, responsibility, gentleness, and boundaries in creating the types of relationships that you’ve been yearning for.

    Stay tuned.

     

    For the next post click here.


    Philadelphia marriage therapyElizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT is a Philadelphia based therapist. Elizabeth is passionate about supporting people in improving their relationships and creating fulfilling connection with others. Elizabeth works with couples and individuals to address challenging events such as infidelity, divorce,  trauma, the death of a loved one, or major transitions.

     

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    Filed Under: Anxiety, Couples/Marriage, Depression, Elizabeth Earnshaw, End of Relationship, Mindfulness, Parenting Tagged With: Anxiety, connection, Elizabeth Earnshaw, philadelphia, relationships, therapy

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    Contact Elizabeth

    267-838-0066
    earnshawmft@gmail.com
    Fees: $140.00+

    Specialities

    • Relationship Issues
    • Infidelity
    • Divorce/ Separation
    • Money Issues
    • Conflict Management
    • Intimacy and Sexual Issues
    • Communication Issues
    • Premarital Counseling
    • Break ups/ Heartbreak
    • Trauma/ PTSD
    • Anxiety
    • Depression
    • Grief & Loss
    • Self Esteem Issues
    • Transitions

    Education & Training

    • PA License # : MF000872
    • Thomas Jefferson University –
      Master’s in Couples & Family Therapy (MFT)
    • The Council for Relationships –
      Practicum in individual, family, and couple’s therapy.
    • Temple University-
      Bachelor’s in Education & Organizational Development
      Certificate in Mindfulness & Meditation
    • Project Fleur de Lis – New Orleans-
      Grief & Trauma Intervention Training (GTI)
      Mental Health Triage Training
      Certificate in Cognitive Behavioral Intervention for Trauma (CBITS)
      Trauma Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT).
      Prepare 1 and 2
      ​Prepare/Enrich
      Registered Facilitator for Premarital and Parenting Programs
    • National Marriage Seminars
      Gottman Method Training Level 1, Level 2, and Level 3
    • International Association of Trauma Professionals (IATP)
    • Elizabeth has supported both adults and children on their healing journey in Philadelphia, Baltimore, Savlador, Brazil, and New Orleans, Louisiana.
    • Treatment Modalities: CBT, Mindfulness Based, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Structural Therapy, Gottman, Trauma Focused (TF-CBT)

    Memberships:

    • Clinical Member of American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT)
    • Member of The Thomas Jefferson Alumni Board
    • Approved Member of Gottman Relationship Checkup
    • International Association of Trauma Professionals (IATP)
    • Bridge Yoga Board Secretary​

    Treatment Modalities

    • CBT
    • Mindfulness Based
    • Emotionally Focused Therapy
    • Narrative Therapy
    • Structural Therapy
    • Gottman
    • Trauma Focused (TF-CBT)

    Blog Categories

    • Anxiety
    • Ariel Stern
    • Behavioral Challenges
    • Carly
    • Carly McDade
    • Connection
    • Couples/Marriage
    • Deirdre
    • Deirdre Cosgrove
    • Depression
    • Elizabeth
    • Elizabeth Earnshaw
    • End of Relationship
    • Family
    • Lauren Rosner
    • Mindfulness
    • New Baby
    • Parenting
    • Uncategorized

    A Better Life Therapy, LLC

    100 S Broad St Suite 1304
    Philadelphia, PA 19110

    267-838-0066
    Info@abetterlifetherapy.com

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