Psychotherapy for Affair Recovery
We support individuals and couples heal after an affair. Surviving infidelity can seem like an impossible task. I am here to tell you that it is not only possible, that there is potential for your relationship to actually grow in closeness and connection. We know that this might be hard to believe right now. Right now, you are probably just trying to make it through the day. We want to help you not only make it through the day, but thrive in personally and interpersonally.
We support couples to heal sexual or emotional infidelity and any other betrayals that accompanied it (hiding spending, taking secret trips, etc). We honor both people in the room and we look for a way forward, together.
When we work with couples healing from an affair we go through a 3 step process:
- Atonement – We help you to offer your apologies in a sincere way that will actually help heal your partner. If you are the betraying partner, you might have started to feel frustrated about how long the process of moving forward is taking. Perhaps you’ve apologized again and again and yet it still comes up the next day. This is usually because you need extra guidance and support into how to truly apologize and show remorse after an affair.
- Attunement – Either before the affair or during and definitely following it, you have lost some connection. The connection that keep you “in tune with each other”. We want to help you get that back. You will go through a period of exploration to understand what happened to your connection and how to get it back.
- Attachment – Or, as we like to say, reattachment. A secure attachment is vital to a healthy relationship. Being securely attached requires safety, trust, and commitment. After the process of atoning and attuning, you will have developed a foundation for reattaching and developing intimacy once again your relationship.
Common Reactions to an affair by the betrayed partner:
- Loss of Motivation
- Repetitive unwanted thoughts
- A need to question
- A desire to “talk about it”
- Change in sexual desire (either more or less)
- Preoccupation with the other person
Common Reactions to an affair Experienced by the partner that betrayed:
- Wondering “will this ever get better”
- Wishing you could just stop talking about it
- Feeling angry
- Feeling remorse
- Feeling embarrassment
- Wanting to “hide away”
- Change in sexual desire (increased or decreased)
Elizabeth Earnshaw, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Philadelphia, PA. Elizabeth is the CEO and Clinical Director of A Better Life Therapy. Elizabeth specializes in helping individuals heal from an affair and couples build after an affair. She has a deep understanding of what causes and heals betrayal and she would like to help you to understand it, too. Elizabeth supports the relationship by extending empathy and responsibility to both partners. Elizabeth is trained in Gottman Method Level 4 Couples Therapy and has extensive training in other family and relationship counseling models. Elizabeth is also a trained trauma therapist. This is helpful in affair recovery therapy because the response to an affair often resembles the responses to a trauma.
Ariel Stern, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor and a Senior Associate at A Better Life Therapy. Ariel is trained in Gottman Level 4 Couples Therapy and Ecosystemic Therapy. She offers supportive and directive environment from which couples can begin to heal and reconnect.
Ariel & Elizabeth often recommend intensive therapy for Affair Recovery. The powerful impact of an affair often requires longer sessions and time to truly process emotions and create a plan for moving forward. Weekly sessions can be arranged as well.
If you would like to schedule a weekly session, you can use our online scheduler any time day or night.